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Part 7
Rejection:
Good or bad?
Rejection
is just a numbers game,
if
you understand the law of averages
Harlan Jacobsen Copyright ©
2003
In
past articles we’ve shown that rejection is normal and it really isn’t
a problem. If you consider it
a problem it is a phony problem. Real
problems have real solutions. Rejection
turmoil is all in your head and of your own making.
It is what I call Baloney, or mistaken, unreal problem. YOU
ALREADY KNOW AND REALIZE 1.
Rejection is normal and necessary.
You reject people all day long—you won’t look at them,
acknowledge them with a smile—nothing. You reject them. 2.
You don’t even acknowledge to most people that they exist. 3.
It has little or nothing to do whether you are okay or they are
okay. It is just the way
things are and the way people have to operate. REJECTION
IS EMOTIONAL TURMOIL ‘What
the mind causes, it can cure.’ When
something is not working for you, it is because you have a faulty belief
system or assumption. Garbage
programming. Garbage in means
garbage out. You have carried
into adulthood some childhood programming (that’s im-maturity).
Your rejection programming is obsolete and keeps your life from
working as an adult. As
a child most people’s parents (whether you remember them telling you or
not is immaterial) kept telling you if you acted “that way” or “were
bad”, ‘people’ wouldn’t like you.
Your belief became if you were good and okay, every-body would like
you. If they didn’t, it was
because you weren’t acting right or you were bad.
You got the idea that ev-erybody was supposed to like you or you
were supposed to do what was necessary for everybody to like you.
If they didn’t all like you, you didn’t measure up or you were
defective. THE GOAL MOM GAVE YOU If
everyone doesn’t now honor or support you, you still erroneously
conclude you are defective. So
you: 1.
Try harder and harder to have everyone like you. 2.
Try harder and harder to be really nice. 3.
Your goal becomes to have everyone like or accept you.
To be ahead of others. RESULT:
—YOU WEAR YOURSELF OUT. YOU
SUFFER FROM EXTREME ANXIETY, FRUSTRATION.
You can never reach this impossible goal.
It isn’t you that’s defective; you only have a defective goal. CHANGE
YOUR GOAL. CHANGE YOUR PROGRAMMING. Get
rid of your old programming on rejection using this affirmation: ‘I
have discarded my need for approval and acceptance by other people and
have placed no time expectations on those that do accept me.
I make no de-mands and have no expectations of others.’ To
get this reprogramming through to your subconscious (computer central),
use one of the following: 1.
Put it on a card and read it several times daily. 2.
Or recopy it several times a day. 3.
Use self-hypnosis (explained in other issues) 4.
Use transcendental meditation. 5.
Biofeedback. 6.
Prayer. Put it in a
prayer form three times a day. Use
on of the above methods three times a day for a least two weeks and you
will no longer have rejection and the fear of rejection controlling your
life and well being. WE
KNOW YOU DON’T REALLY WANT TO GIVE UP YOUR OLD GOAL BUT IT IS A NO-WIN
SITUATION. In
EST training, they tell you about experiments with rats.
You have a test lab situation with a rat and five tun-nels.
You put the cheese at the end of tunnel number four.
The rat finds it. If
he discovers that’s where it is he stops looking in the other tunnels
and for weeks always goes up tunnel 4.
Then you move the cheese to tunnel #2.
That rat will keep going up and down tunnel number four for a long
time. Eventually he will look
in the other tunnels and find the cheese, eventually giving up tunnel #4. The
difference between man and the rat is that man will go up and down tunnel
#4 the rest of his life because that is the ‘right’ tunnel.
He doesn’t get the cheese, but he’s ‘right’. Well,
you can keep running up and down tunnel number four and keep your old
programming that everybody should accept and like you but you won’t get
any cheese. Or you can give
up on being right and get the cheese by changing your programming to
winning (getting the cheese). You
have insisted on what you’re doing is right because it is the sure-fire
way. Yet you know it hasn’t
been working. ‘EVERYONE
SHOULD LIKE ME.’ GIVE UP ON
THAT. YOU DON’T GET THE CHEESE WITH THAT PROGRAMMING OR GOAL. We
say ‘happiness’ is the cheese. Dyer
in his book Erroneous Zones says, ‘Happiness is the absence of
approval seeking as a need.’ We
say, ‘Happiness is thriving on rejection.’
Let us assume that you are right with your old programming and that
is was practical and healthy. ‘Everybody
must accept me.’ Think
about : Who do you know that
gets the most approval? What
are they like? How do they
behave? What attracts
everyone? GET THE CHEESE...
NEXT ISSUE: —MORE
ON REJECTION. How to do it
and like it
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