WARNING, These
DIVORCE RECOVERY 101
Pages Can Change Your Life.
© 2001
Harlan Jacobsen
DIVORCE CAN BE GREAT FUN
some people claim,
but they're seldom the ones actually undergoing
the experience!
In fact, it looks as if the whole myth
of the boy-am-I-glad-to-get-out-of-that-marriage"
single, swinging gaily in the wee hours of the
night.........
is just that a myth,
designed by all of those badly hurt souls out there
as they try:
(I) not to commit suicide,
(2) not to crack up, and
(3) not to think some very bad thoughts about
themselves.
Which doesn't mean that you were the "bad
one" in your dead-and-gone
marriage,
and doesn't mean that your ex-spouse was
"right."
In fact, sending out heavy vibes to your ex-spouse
to the effect that you were "right"
and they were "wrong" is
just a part of that myth we were talking about
...........
and goes nicely with those midnight
sessions in front of the mirror
when it feels as if you were "wrong"
and they were "right"!
In other words, there's
one major lesson
that most people take away from their separations and
divorces:
that even the lousiest of relationships
is still a relationship ...
and that ending a relationship of any kind
is about as painless as having your wisdom teeth yanked........
without any anesthetic.
People are recognizable as people --
instead of turtles or earthworms --
because they have this incredible and
completely unconscious tendency....
to grow into each
other,
with each partner in a marriage learning to zig
where the other one zags,
and after that's gone on for even a couple of years,
they're as tangled up emotionally as a plate of
spaghetti....
or a forest of seaweed.
When the marriage goes bad
-- or the "relationship,"..........
if you happen to have been tangled up
with someone.... long enough without actually making it to the
altar --
then "pulling the whole thing
apart" feels exactly like
getting badly wounded,.......
as all your needs and habits
come loose and start groping around for nourishment.
And provided you're not one of those
who
blow their brains out
or end up
under heavy sedation in a psychiatric hospital,
you learn, above all,
that this one is going to take time.
Time, and all the help, soothing advice,
and general good sense you can put your hands
on...............,
This is the place to keep checking the route
tips supplied to get you from what may be the worse time of
your life to the
VERY BEST
time of your life. | 
