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You, like
the rest of us divorced or widowed folks, are a relationship
addict.
You just got off of a long term
relationship and rather then "sober up" you may be out
desperately searching for a new fix.
The pain of withdrawal from booze or drugs is very
severe and to stop the unbearable pain of withdrawal most will do almost
anything to get another "fix" to stop having to go thru this
pain....
The success rate of those newly singled who
jump into a new relationship to stop this pain is almost nil. You
merely postpone the pain.
This relationship (often marriage) built on the wrong
motivation will end and then you have to go thru a withdrawal that
is made even worse.
Your marriage failed, and to keep your
divorce from becoming a failure too, we put out a hard and fast rule..
ABSOLUTELY NO MATE HUNTING FOR 6 MONTHS.
Sober up and work thru the pain of the death of
what was the loss of a long term relationship. When thru that
pain, then you can date, but still no mate hunting for 6 months.
We
strongly recommend no
exclusive dating
of one person, (you used to call this going steady) for the first 6 months. (definition of
a policy of "exclusive dating", is "serial monagomy")
Just be up front and tell people you date
that this is your policy for 6 months, on dating
after working thru your divorce, that you may date some one regularly,
but you also continue to date other people as
well.
In other words, no latching on to one
person, and no "one person" latching on to or owning you in the first 6 months,
You may need to expand "no mate hunting" to one
year depending on how much dating you do (if any).
Therefore this basically means
you can date
when ready but NO
PROMISES for 6 months to one year.
(No commitments.)
The defense for newly divorced getting into
dating, and being pressured, the key is to be ready when
needed to use these very clear and magic words.
- I am newly divorced and "I am not ready for that yet".
Tell Your Divorced Or
Widowed Friends About This Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If
They Do Not Have A PC, Print Out The Article For Them
NO "MATE HUNTING" FOR 6 MONTHS
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300 "Life Changing" recovery
articles, click here
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