Statistics show that within three years of divorce, many people marry a second time.
When I share this information with people in my court, many shake their heads and say, "Not me. I know better."
But statistics tell us that second marriages occur more often than not. They also tell us that 70 percent of second marriages that involve stepchildren fail.
They fail for a number of reasons. One is that there often are ongoing money problems from the first divorce. Another, more common cause of second marriages failing is that these new families' lives get so complicated.
They often end up with "your" children, "my" children and "our" children. There are uncountable grandparents, step-grandparents, step-siblings and half-siblings.
Trying to come up with a plan for how to share holidays and vacations is a major undertaking. Developing parenting styles and skills to avoid treating children and stepchildren differently is difficult.
Often the incomes and standards of living in the various households differ significantly, which adds to the natural human tendency to compare. "Mom always liked you best" is more that a Smothers Brothers comedy routine.
Maintaining human relationships is a hard task. As the number of relationships increases, the opportunities for conflict grow and the task of keeping the peace gets harder.
I have observed a large number of second marriages fail. I have heard people going through second divorces say, "If I had only tried half as hard to make my first marriage work as I have to make this second marriage work, it could have survived."
One man who was divorcing for the second time recently said of his first divorce: "I love my kids. I lost my home, and the problems my first wife and I had weren't much different from the problems my second wife and I have, except there weren't so many of them.
If only there were some way to get people to realize all this without their having to experience it firsthand. I hope recent data showing a decline in divorce rates is an indication that some people can learn from others' mistakes.
A marriage relationship is tough to sustain, and it doesn't get easier the second time around.
For more Anne Kass articles, go here to select from complete list of 97 articles
For listing of over 200 helpful staff articles on Divorce, go here
Home
Tell Your Divorced Or Widowed Friends About This
Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If They Do Not Have A PC, Print
Out The Article For Them
Second Marriage Can Be As Difficult As The First
One
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300
"Life Changing" recovery articles, click here
Divorce
Recovery 101 
Divorce Adjustment Help
Home
Divorce Recovery
Site Map
Divorce Questions
& Answers
Read and/or Submit
Personal Message?
CONTACT US
Online Support
Friends Singles
Chat
Free Divorce
Newsletter
Sign Up
Here
Free 5 Day Email Divorce Course
Sign Up Here
Read and Study over 300 "Life Changing" recovery
articles, click here
Reprint Our
Articles
Information Here
1000 Helpful Single Life Links
go
here
About Us
go
here
Please tell us how
we are doing.
Feel free to make suggestions
Do it
here
Help Others Find This Site
Search Articles
Send This Page
to "Divorcing Friends",
easy
form
Read Letters From
Divorced Folks Like Yourself,
Read
Mail
Single Life Coach
is
our site for those worked thru their divorce and are working on a great
new life as a single person
Dating Again 101 is our new site for help in
getting back into the dating world successfully
Sign up for
Free Dating
Again newsletter of tips to help make new relationships a part
of your life. Edited by Harlan.
by keyword