The feelings of individuals going through in a divorce include anger, fear, failure, grief, rejection and guilt--all of them powerful.
None of them is positive.
Of these, anger seems to be the most severe problem for the parents, for the courts and--most importantly--for the children.
Psychological studies show that many of us have "a feeling of choice"--one feeling we are the most familiar with and thus the most comfortable with.
In America, that "feeling of choice" appears to be anger, especially for men.
There are various reasons why anger is such a popular feeling in our culture.
-Anger is often viewed as coming from strength, while fear, failure, grief, rejection and guilt are viewed as weaknesses.
-Anger requires a great deal of emotional energy. So it helps us block out and avoid those other, less-comfortable feelings.
-Anger often generates an infusion of adrenalin into our systems causing a sense of power, a bit of high that can feel particularly good in contrast to the low of depression that often accompanies fear, failure, guilt, rejection and grief.
Psychological studies also show that there are several stages or steps that individuals who suffer a loss must go through if they are to effectively cope with and recover from the loss.
These stages include shock, anger, denial, grief and, finally, acceptance. Divorce is an enormous loss.
Divorcing individuals who do not progress through the stages do not recover well. They do not get on with their lives in a wholesome way.
The consequences in divorce cases of people locking into anger include ongoing fighting between the parents, ongoing litigation, ongoing legal expenses and ongoing injury to the children.
The truth is that if we don't deal with our feelings, our feelings will deal with us.
Feelings sometimes deal with us by causing us to get sick or causing us to do foolish, hurtful things.
It is no simple task to acknowledge and confront negative feelings, which is why family court judges so often recommend counseling for parties in divorce cases.
We realize that counseling does not always help but we also know that litigation will not help the parties through the stages of loss.
Too many divorcing individuals seem to be anger junkies--and litigation is a perfect way for them to feed that addiction.
For more Anne Kass articles, go here to select from complete list of 97 articles
For listing of over 200 helpful staff articles on Divorce, go here
Home
Tell Your Divorced Or Widowed Friends About This
Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If They Do Not Have A PC, Print
Out The Article For Them
Anger Can Block Divorce
Recovery
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300
"Life Changing" recovery articles, click here
Divorce
Recovery 101 
Divorce Adjustment Help
Home
Divorce Recovery
Site Map
Divorce Questions
& Answers
Read and/or Submit
Personal Message?
CONTACT US
Online Support
Friends Singles
Chat
Free Divorce
Newsletter
Sign Up
Here
Free 5 Day Email Divorce Course
Sign Up Here
Read and Study over 300 "Life Changing" recovery
articles, click here
Reprint Our
Articles
Information Here
1000 Helpful Single Life Links
go
here
About Us
go
here
Please tell us how
we are doing.
Feel free to make suggestions
Do it
here
Search Articles
How
To Link To Us
Help Others Find This Site
Send This Page
to "Divorcing Friends",
easy
form
Read Letters From
Divorced Folks Like Yourself,
Read
Mail
Single Life Coach
is
our site for those worked thru their divorce and are working on a great
new life as a single person
Dating Again 101 is our new site for help in
getting back into the dating world successfully
Sign up for
Free Dating
Again newsletter of tips to help make new relationships a part
of your life. Edited by Harlan.
by keyword