Every week I hear one or more divorced couples exchange the following excuses about why he/she didn't obey a court order:
- "I didn't pay child support because she wouldn't let me see the
children."
"I wouldn't let him see the children because he didn't pay the child support."
Even though it is obvious to virtually everyone that time and money are closely connected, as far as the law of divorce is concerned, time and money are altogether separate issues.
Some people think this aspect of divorce law is unwise. Recent data show that fathers who spend time with their children are far, far more likely to meet their child support obligations than are fathers who do not spend time with their children. Fathers' Rights groups have said, "We told you so." They cite the data to courts to support requests for joint custody and equal time.
In fact there are some cases where non-support-paying fathers have been deprived of their rights to spend time with their children, and there is a cause-and-effect relationship between the visitation interference and the non-payment of support. However, a huge number of non-support-paying fathers do not spend time with their children because they don't want to spend time with their children. Not too long ago a father in my court, who had neither seen his child nor paid child support for many months, explained he'd not paid child support because he had too many other bills to pay, one of which was his girlfriend's car payment.
In family court we spend time and energy trying to convince non-support-paying parents to spend time with their children. We know that if the parent will establish a relationship with the child, the parent will be more likely to provide financial support. We are often not successful in our efforts. Some parents just don't care about their children.
As for the law which continues to treat child support and time with the child as altogether separate matters, the reasoning behind the law is simple. Failure to pay child support does not justify interference with visitation; and interference with visitation does not justify failure to pay support. The underlying principle is age old: Two wrongs do not make a right.
For more Anne Kass articles, go here to select from complete list of 97 articles
For listing of over 200 helpful staff articles on Divorce, go here
Home
Tell Your Divorced Or Widowed Friends About This
Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If They Do Not Have A PC, Print
Out The Article For Them
Law Separates Issues Of Child Support,
Visits
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300
"Life Changing" recovery articles, click here
Divorce
Recovery 101 
Divorce Adjustment Help
Home
Divorce Recovery
Site Map
Divorce Questions
& Answers
Read and/or Submit
Personal Message?
CONTACT US
Online Support
Friends Singles
Chat
Free Divorce
Newsletter
Sign Up
Here
Free 5 Day Email Divorce Course
Sign Up Here
Read and Study over 300 "Life Changing" recovery
articles, click here
Reprint Our
Articles
Information Here
1000 Helpful Single Life Links
go
here
About Us
go
here
Please tell us how
we are doing.
Feel free to make suggestions
Do it
here
Search Articles
How
To Link To Us
Help Others Find This Site
Send This Page
to "Divorcing Friends",
easy
form
Read Letters From
Divorced Folks Like Yourself,
Read
Mail
Single Life Coach
is
our site for those worked thru their divorce and are working on a great
new life as a single person
Dating Again 101 is our new site for help in
getting back into the dating world successfully
Sign up for
Free Dating
Again newsletter of tips to help make new relationships a part
of your life. Edited by Harlan.
by keyword