WARNING, These DIVORCE RECOVERY 101Pages Can Change Your Life.

© 2001 Harlan Jacobsen  

  but they're seldom the ones actually undergoing the experience!

   In fact, it looks as if the whole myth of the boy-am-I-glad-to-get-out-of-that-marriage" single, swinging gaily in the wee hours of the night.........
   is just that a myth,

designed by all of those badly hurt souls out there
  as they try:

 (I) not to commit suicide,

 (2) not to crack up, and

  (3) not to think some very bad thoughts about themselves.

Which doesn't mean that you were the "bad one" in your    dead-and-gone marriage,

   and doesn't mean that your ex-spouse was "right."

In fact, sending out heavy vibes to your ex-spouse

to the effect that you were "right"

and they were "wrong" is just a part of that myth we were talking about ...........

and goes nicely with those midnight sessions in front of the mirror

when it feels as if you were "wrong" and they were "right"!

In other words, there's

   one major lesson

that most people take away from their separations and divorces:

   that even the lousiest of relationships

    is still a relationship ...

and that ending a relationship of any kind

is about as painless as having your wisdom teeth yanked........

   without any anesthetic.

   People are recognizable as people --
 instead of turtles or earthworms --

   because they have this incredible and completely unconscious tendency....

    to grow into each other,

 with each partner in a marriage learning to zig where the other one zags,

and after that's gone on for even a couple of years,

they're as tangled up emotionally as a plate of spaghetti....

   or a forest of seaweed.

   When the marriage goes bad

-- or the "relationship,"..........

    if you happen to have been tangled up with someone.... long enough without actually making it to the altar --

then "pulling the whole thing apart" feels exactly like getting badly wounded,.......

     as all your needs and habits

come loose and start groping around for nourishment.

    And provided you're not one of those who

   blow their brains out

or end up

under heavy sedation in a psychiatric hospital,

   you learn, above all,

    that this one is going to take time.

Time, and all the help, soothing advice, and general good sense you can put your hands on...............

Tell Your Divorced Or Widowed Friends About This Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If They Do Not Have A PC, Print Out The Article For Them
DIVORCE RECOVERY 101Can Change Your Life
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300 "Life Changing" recovery articles, click here

Top of Page ||  Divorce Recovery 101 Index
 
Site Map - Content List  || AZ Single Scene  ||  Country Singles ||  Single Life Coach  || Dating Again 101 || Subscribe to our Free Newsletter

* Free 5 Day Email Divorce Course, of "Moving on to a great new life", click here

*  For a Free Email 8 Day Course on Dating "Get Going"  to a better life, click here