You're the star in your new play   

Harlan Jacobsen Copyright 2003                                

Divorce is not the end of the play; it is merely the intermission. Up until now, you have been playing a role in a play primarily following other peoples' scripts.  You played your part and did what others expected you to do.

Your parents had a role for you, what you were supposed to do, what you were supposed to say, what a "good" person does under any and all circumstances. Your spouse programmed a good part of the script by setting the part you were to play.  Your church, your teachers and friends have constantly been feeding in programming or scripts and you have been playing the part.

The curtain has now come down and it's practically a whole new play.  You now have a chance to throw out all the scripts and parts of what others had you doing.  You are now going to raise the curtain again and assume responsibilities for your new play.  You are willing to expend the effort to change your life and rewrite the entire script.  This is an all-important time, where you -- perhaps for the first time -- take complete command of your play.

You are going to come to terms with your personal dreams.   You have been trying to fill the role set by your parents or your spouse.  Take a rational look at what you do and are.  Throw out the programming that doesn't fit your new goals.  Who is the hero?  The adventurer who seeks to make each day a better one?  YOU are now the star of the play.  (We really don't care that you are more comfortable as a bit players.  We all have to grow up some time and this is it!)

You and you alone are going to decide who the other players are going to be in the next act.  You  are going to do the casting and you will want to find players who fit in with your script with a minimum of re-writing of the new script you have planned.  You now know and I know that if you continue to play the bit parts that others want, your life is going to be a haphazard collection of accidental happenings in other peoples' plays.

First you have to figure out the general plot of your new play (set a direction for your single life).  Probably this is the first time you have ever had a chance to write your own play.  We first need an outline of what we basically want to have happen.

Now that we have a general outline completed (be sure you have this done before proceeding to the next step), we need to figure out what type of characters (friends and associates) we are going to have in our life play.

Now that we have a general idea of the type of people we want in our new life play and have figured out what role you are going to play (remember you can have any part you want -- it is strictly your play, you know), we can start going out and auditioning people who might like to be in your life play and who you can see playing certain parts.

So here you are, planning the play; you are the author of what is going to happen, you are the director, you get to interpret how any part is to be played, you are the casting director, you get to pick who is going to be in your play.

If someone does not play a part the way you want it played, you can find someone else who will, so you are not locked into a certain cast.  You can change it as you go, if you desire.  Constantly improving the play by rewriting it and getting better people to play a part, you can write in new parts when you meet some exceptional people you would like to have in your play but don't already have a part for.

You are no longer a bit player in other people's plays.  You are the star, author and director.  How your new play turns out is now entirely up to you. Make all the decisions about what you want out of life right now and raise the curtain as you go into action to get it.

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