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Divorce Recovery Advice and Help What Was Behind The Split? - Divorce Recovery 101

What Was Behind The Divorce
2001 Harlan Jacobsen


    Think About This When it is over, its over. Move On

Let me boil this down to my observation (some controversial) from the stories and sharing of over ten thousand divorced people and the divorce of all types of folks that attended my classes over a ten year period.

  1. What "was" when you got married, "changes" in even a few years.  You both grew in different directions, needs changed and you were now both in a different place. If you had met for the first time even a few months ago you likely would not have at all been "interested" in each other.

  2. Rehashing and going over your "just died" relationship is almost a waste of time.  The next one will be entirely different.

  3. Having to pretend to stay in a relationship that has "expired" is a terrible sentence.

  4. Once one partner has totally decided the relationship is over, it is a frustrating complete waste of time and effort on the part of the other to try and try to change their mind.

  5. There are two reasons the spouse left, One, the reason that sounds good. Two, the real reason.

  6. Most people think the relationship died because the sexual interest died. It is in fact usually the other way around, the sexual interest died because the relationship went south.

My advice is on letting go and not wasting any more time rehashing what went wrong in the last basketball game, just practice, sharpen your skills and get ready for the next game coming up shortly.


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