How to change your life for the better in 2 weeks
Starting Over Again, Part 9
A Continuing Series on Getting on with Your Life
by Harlan L. Jacobsen
THIS SERIES OF DIVORCE ARTICLES HAS CARRIED MANY ADJUSTMENT IDEAS AND CONCEPTS THAT DO WORK...
No matter how much good advice you get, no matter how many books or articles you read, it can all be for nothing. Because........
NOTHING WORKS UNTIL YOU DO!
One of the hardest things to do is to make a decision that you are tired of being unhappy and miserable.
This is right...being miserable is a decision. Once you decide you are thru with that and you decide you are ready and want to move on to a new and better life, then you are already half way there. You have heard and said a lot of four letter words during your divorce. Now memorize this sentence of all two letter words.
IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME!
To get what you want, you have to first really decide what it is you want.
You have been up to now, visualizing (worry) being alone, nobody wanting you, seeing yourself as a miserable discard junk person.
WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET!
Figure out what you want out of your new life now. This is most important and you need to do it now. True, maybe you do need to do some experimenting and some exploring to see what you want out of your new life. If that is the case, we will shortly suggest a good goal for you now.
MANY HAVE A GOAL OF GETTING MARRIED AGAIN, OR WORSE YET, A GOAL OF GETTING THE EX SPOUSE BACK.
Both are wrong. Both lead to trouble. If your goal is to get married, you most certainly will accomplish it. Any fool can do that and most fools do run out and get married again right away. You can too.
But remember, your goal there never was to be happy, only to be married. Your subconscious works on that instruction and merely finds someone who has the same goal.
TRYING TO GET YOUR EX-SPOUSE BACK IS CRAZY MAKING!
It is like trying to dig up a dead body and trying to bring it back to life. All it is going to do is use up a lot of energy and drive you crazy trying.
GIVE UP ON A DEAD MARRIAGE, IT IS NOT ONLY DEAD, IT HAS LONG SINCE SPOILED...
Get a new goal. We suggest you use this one for the next six months.
My new goal is to learn to and become a happy successful single person.
YOU SAY-YOU NEVER WANTED TO BE SINGLE, LET ALONE EVER SEE YOURSELF AS A HAPPY SUCCESSFUL SINGLE.
Face facts, you are single. Do you want to learn to be a happy single or do you want to stay miserable? MAKE THE DECISION...WHICH IS IT? When you become happily single, you can then safely consider getting married again. You will get married again only if it will be even happier.
When you are unhappily single, you grab on to anything that will help you escape from being single, and you will convince yourself it is right for you.
GETTING THE NAME OF THE GAME ACROSS TO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS CAN BE DONE SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS...
The best way we feel is to use the relaxation or self hypnosis tape to invoke the relaxation response, to reprogram yourself and get a new sense of direction by getting your new life goals across to your subconscious so it can take charge and get you on to the new good life automatically without a lot of stress.
WHERE DO I BUY THIS SELF HYPNOSIS TAPE?
You do not buy it, you make your own tape recording in your own voice.
THIS TAPE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE
IF YOU ARE READY TO MAKE A CHANGE, YOU'RE IMPATIENT WITH THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE.
When you make the decision to get out of the miserables and move on to a bigger and better life, then you are happy in the realization that you have within you the ability and power to change yourself for the better. You are now programming to do something larger that you now know you were made and meant to do.
You have up until now had the erroneous opinion that you were intended to be as you are and there was nothing to be done about it. To get yourself on the road to happiness and self fulfillment you need to realize you are discontent in your present position and you have no intention of staying there. We are developing a happy discontent in your present situation and you have now decided you can do anything you want with your life.
I CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING I WANT AND I AM READY TO START-RIGHT NOW!
I know that the goals of my past become the reality of the future. You will reappraise pointless activities and routines that take up your time that no longer have any relevance to your goals. Plan on enjoying yourself on the trip to your goals. The exciting part is not arriving. It is the journey.
BY NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR GOALS THOUGHT THRU AND BE READY TO GO.
So sit down now with a blank sheet of paper and list your main goal which is what you are going to use in making your personal self hypnosis tape.
If you read our instructions in the last issue. We feel by now you should have thought through your goals and be ready to write your main goal for use on your tape. You do need to write this out plainly. Remember, if you fail to plan for your new single future, you are planning to fail. Make no small goals. Dream big. Most singles underestimate their ability to accomplish goals. Remember this is powerful stuff so you may as well think big. Most singles make their goals too small and allow themselves far more time then they actually need.
A GOAL IS A DREAM BEING ACTED UPON.
Goals bring discipline of action. You may, if you like, develop a major over-all goal, say for the next 5 years. Other goals for one year, one month and sub goals, for example, for the next week. By throwing yourself into accomplishing your new goal, you will find happiness. Think about your new goals all the time. Write them out, preferably over and over again. Write it in clear language simply written. By what date do you expect to achieve each goal? List changes in attitudes, conduct, habits, appearance and associations to reach this goal. Break it into smaller parts. Make a list of all the benefits you will gain.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO WORD YOUR GOALS ON TAPE CORRECTLY.
Do not say, I am going to say, I am... Your subconscious does not care about time unless you instruct it to. By saying "I am," for example, it goes to work to make it true right away instead of some hazy time in the future. Put some practical time limits on your goals. By....(certain time) I will....have....or some personality change accomplished for example.
HERE IS A HYPNOSIS TAPE EXAMPLE TO USE FOR RELATIONSHIPS.
Let's say you are having difficulty getting out and developing any relationships. Let's say you have made the conscious decision that the best thing for you in the next three months is not to develop any one big all-encompassing relationship but that in order to find yourself and determine what you want out of life and a relationship on a permanent basis, you are for three months going to date many people and develop many wonderful relationships.
Maybe your long-term goal is to develop a permanent, lifetime relationship but your short term goal is, as we said, to develop many wonderful relationships over the next three months. You might then word both goals as follows:
By _ of this year I will have established and be ready to handle a long-term relationship with an exciting, wonderful person of the opposite sex. This person will appear when you are really ready for this type of relationship. It is the love story of a life time. You can see all of this now. For the next 90 days you see (your name) meeting, dating and enjoying many, many, relationships with members of the opposite sex. All wonderful and exciting people. (Your name) will be very popular and very busy with these relationships. You will get to know many happy men or women very well. (Your name) will enjoy these relationships more and more and your dating will become better and better.
This is just an example and you can write your own goals. Use your name often like (your name) will... is.... throughout your script. By now you should set monetary goals, physical things you see yourself having and all. Write it all out worded as suggested so your subconscious sees it as happening right now or already happened or will have happened by a certain date. Do not make it too short a time or do not give yourself too much time, either. Most error in too long.
Your subconscious can do amazing things. Do not worry about all the details. (For instance, how you are going to meet the people mentioned in the last example); leave that up to your subconscious, it will solve that problem when the time comes. Just tell what it is accomplishing, and your subconscious quarterback will call all of the right plays. Have confidence and actually see your goal as accomplished. Once you have achieved that, you are half way there.
YOU ARE NOW READY TO WRITE YOUR TOTAL GOALS.
If you have been going out for the last six months with a lot of different dates and you consider yourself now ready to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, then you might use as part of your goal.
Remember, you can make a long tape with this and everything else on it or you can make additional tapes, perhaps a short one with all of the lead in or relaxation, etc., and just this sort of thing as the main part. Determine the major and absolute assets you want in your Mr. or Mrs. Right...background, line of work, age, interests, hobbies, sexual preferences, monetary station, etc. Once you have that all written down, start it out like this:
As a single person, (your name), you have a right and desire to meet and have the right person in your life. That right person is being drawn to you now. You are attracting that person like a magnet. This right person will (list absolute necessary qualities). This perfect person (the one for you) will find that you are the perfect person for them, too. You are growing and changing to become the perfect mate for the perfect man or woman for you. (End of goal wording.)
Remember, it is important to use the right wording. We assume you now have this ready to go. Now take the meat out of this and write a 3-4 line condensed goal on a recipe sized card. Make several copies. Scotch tape one on the inside of the door or behind the mirror in your medicine chest and read it once every time you are in there. Put them other places-like scotch tape one to the bottom of your middle desk drawer at work, open it and read your card several times daily. Carry a card with your goals in your pocket. Take it out and read it several times daily.
You are going to get the message across to your subconscious by thinking about it several times daily-visualizing whatever it is you want.
You will be hearing it (tape) and visualizing it seeing it on your card and visualizing it. When you hear it on tape, you will visualize it actually occurring on the motion picture screen of your mind.
The entire script has been very well thought through to cover or correct most of the adjustment problems we have heard of in the divorce survival process. Please do not delete any parts unnecessarily.
You have made the decision that many people are afraid to make, a decision to take the course of you life into your own hands. Remember, no one runs your life anymore.
You alone are responsible. You are now free and have perhaps just been drifting. Setting your own goals and determine your own destiny is the route now to success, fulfillment and happiness.
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