STARTING OVER AGAIN
Just how much stress are you under?
Part 6
A Continuing Series on Getting on with Your Life by Harlan L. Jacobsen
MAJOR LIFE CHANGES TURN ON A STRESS ALARM SYSTEM THAT SAYS TO YOUR BODY "GET UP TIGHT. GET READY TO RUN FOR YOUR LIFE."
When you become divorced, many of the day to day mental computer functions that used to be automatic are changed and you go back on manual. Daily living habits are changed, social interactions are changed, sexual activities are changed. Goals are changed or dropped and your mental processor is handling tremendous amounts of new patterns—most on manual.
FOUR THINGS TURN ON YOUR BODY ALARM WHEN YOU BECOME DIVORCED:
1. Not being able to do what you always did turns on a body alarm—like drug withdrawal pains, from stopping doing some behavior that was automatic.
2. Doing things you have never done before, like taking over total responsibility from your own financial survival, turns on a panic bodily alarm.
3. Fear, of the unknown, getting into change, unfamiliar territory that you don’t know you can handle and your very survival is at stake. No appropriate programming on file for what is happening and where you are going.
4. Mentally processing over and over what is happening to you, trying to process "crazy making" data that has no answer or apparent solution. This uses up tremendous emotional energy and turns on an anxiety body alarm.
WHEN UNDER LONG TERM STRESS YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS SHUT DOWN OR DIMINISHED.
Anything that comes along during this would normally overcome (including cancer) has a much better chance to take hold.
IT IS HOW YOU HANDLE WHAT’S HAPPENING
The medical profession now recognizes that your chances of coming down with something or having some body part break down or fail are almost in direct proportion to the amount of stress you have in your life, and what you do about that stress and how long you stay in it.
THEY HAVE DEVELOPED STRESS TEST TO HELP YOU PREDICT YOUR CHANCES OF BECOMING MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY ILL
The following test will make you aware of some of the stressful changes that are presently happening to you. Keep in mind, for example, if your job was "housewife", you have also been fired from your job (number 8). This test was written for the general public—not for divorce. You will, if you are a man in divorce for example, almost always be involved in number 28, major change in living condition.
(Find out with this test)
Researchers say it’s a cinch your chances of getting sick go up every time a big event takes place in your life.
According to medical professionals, the more change that occurs in your life, the more likely you are to become ill. This applies to any kind of change ...good or bad!
Of the people who have collected more than three hundred life-change units during the past twelve months, almost 80 percent will get sick (mentally or physically) in the near future. Of those with 150 to 299 life-change units, about 50 percent will get sick in the near future. Of those with less than 150 life change units, only about 30 percent will get sick. So, the higher your life-change score, the harder you should work to stay well!!
DIRECTIONS: Read each life event carefully, checking the ones that have happened to you during the last 12 months. Then, add up the points and read on!
Life Event Mean Value
1. Death of a spouse 100
2. Divorce 73
3. Marital separation from mate 65
4. Detention in jail or other institution 63
5. Death of a close family member 63
6. Major personal injury or illness 53
7. Marriage 50
8. Being fired at work 47
9. Marital reconciliation with mate 45
10. Retirement from work 45
11. Major change in the health or behavior of a family member 44
12. Pregnancy 40
13. Sexual difficulties 39
14. Gaining a new family member (e.g., through birth, adoption, oldster moving in, etc.) 39
15. Major business readjustment (e.g., merger, reorganization, bankruptcy, etc.) 39
16. Major change in financial state (e.g., a lot worse off or a lot better off than usual) 38
17. Death of a close friend 37
18. Changing to a different line of work 36
19. Major change in the number of arguments with spouse (e.g., either a lot more or a lot less than usual regarding child-rearing, personal habits, etc.) 35
20. Taking on a mortgage greater than $100,000 (e.g., purchasing a home, business, etc.) 31
21. Foreclosure on a mortgage or loan 30
22. Major change in responsibilities at work (e.g., promotion, demotion, lateral transfer) 29
23. Son or daughter leaving home (e.g., marriage, attending college, etc.) 29
24. In-law troubles 29
25. Outstanding personal achievement 28
26. Wife beginning or ceasing work outside the home 26
27. Beginning or ceasing formal schooling 26
28. Major change in living conditions (e.g., building a new home, remodeling, deterioration of home or neighborhood) 25
29. Revision of personal habits (dress, manners, associations, etc.) 24
30. Troubles with the boss 23
31. Major change in working hours or conditions 20
32. Changes in residence 20
33. Changing to a new school 20
34. Major change in usual type and/or amount of recreation 19
35. Major change in church activities (e.g., a lot more or a lot less than usual) 19
36. Major change in social activities (e.g., clubs, dancing, movies, visiting, etc.) 18
37. Taking on a loan or mortgage less than $10,000 (e.g., purchasing a car, TV, freezer, etc.) 17
38. Major change in sleeping habits (a lot more or a lot less sleep, or change in part of day when asleep) 16
39. Major change in number of family-get-togethers (e.g., a lot more or a lot less than usual) 15
40. Major change in eating habits (a lot more or a lot less food intake, or very different meal hours or surroundings) 15
41. Vacation 13
42. Christmas 12
43. Minor violations of the law (e.g., traffic tickets, jaywalking, disturbing the peace, etc.) 11
CHECK YOUR SCORE:
300 or more points
80 percent chance of becoming mentally or physically ill
150 to 299 points
50 percent chance of becoming mentally or physically ill
150 or less points
only 30 percent chance of becoming mentally or physically ill
*The Social Readjustment Rating Scale
Courtesy of Thomas H. Holmes, M.D., Professor of Behavioral Sciences, University of Washington.
NEXT ISSUE: precautions to take because of stress. Methods of getting rid of and handling the divorce-induced stress and doing it right away. (With your present financial crisis because of your divorce, you really don’t need doctor and hospital bills too, so pay attention.)
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