Lesson One-Adjusting To Single Life

Divorce, Tragedy or Opportunity... Part 1

Jumping Ship, click for full size

Harlan Jacobsen Copyright 2003


Newly Singled person,

Welcome to your online course in getting from what may well be the worse time of your life ......to the best time of your life .

Together, you and I are going to make history.


By proving to a skeptical, passive world of counseling experts and long term "still adjusting" singles, that your getting on with a new life,

            need not.... involve or require the usual two to three years or more of being miserable.

      Your life is made up of time, and it is to precious to waste more then a moment more then necessary in this state.

-- (You and I will get thru this together in less then 6 months, if you promise to really work at it.)

      That despite all the gloom and doom others are trying to spread about your situation and your status as a newly singled person............,

You are going to find it's far easier and faster to do than you had ever hoped.

To begin:
If there's any concept I want you to grasp today, it is: This time YOU ARE IN CHARGE of what happens to you".

      What that means is this:

You want to start recognizing that if your new life now turns out to be the pits six months from now, you won't have anyone to blame but yourself.........

      because this is the first time YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOU.

      Nope, you won't be able to blame your mother, your ex, or anyone at all......

      Because this time

you are the one that gets to plan what happens in your life.

      You alone pick your new friends,

      You alone decide what you want to happen in Act 2 of your life.

      Think of this as the opportunity of your lifetime, your chance to learn to take control and responsibility for your own success and happiness.

Remember, from here on out, there's no one else to blame..

Yup, from here on, you are it....

      But - add the word "OPPORTUNITY" to remind yourself that you don't want your new life to be just a happenstance of whatever comes down the pike.

      You are learning how to be totally in control and in charge of you, to take control and make your new life a big, joyful success. You have a genuine opportunity right now to do just that.

      This also means you are not going to try and repeat Act 1, where you were a bit player in other peoples play.

      From here on YOU are in charge of what happens.

      You now cast yourself as the STAR in your new life play.

      You alone get to cast who the bit players are in your new play and what part they play.

In other words, your new motto is:

      "If it is to be, it is up to me."

      While other suddenly singled are moaning "my life has been ruined",

      you are now fully aware that you are looking forward to moving on to this great new life, and as a result your new outlook will stand out from that despairing crowd.,

Confidence and awareness that, no matter how bad or mixed up you feel right now, you know that you are on the way to bigger and better things.

This is the Turning point:

      Once you make that firm decision, that this is what you are now doing, you are half way there.

      That's the big part of the methods others have used to accomplish this move to the best time of their life.

Make this decision and commitment to yourself.

      Scary it is..

      I know that you need to recognize that this being totally IN CHARGE OF YOU can seem a little scary at first..

But a word of warning: ,

      Your emotional feelings will be, for a while, a constant, ongoing, rolling roller coaster ranging from down-to-total despair to up-to-new heights of elation about your new life.

            You are not alone.

We and other single folks are here to help because we have been there and have come out the other side.

      You may well have a time distortion and it will seem like it is taking forever.
.... but it is not...

      For now we just want to increase your imagination by stretching your mind to view the future of what you want your new life to be.

Be creative, risky, bold, daring, and whatever you were NOT in your old life.

See it in your minds eye.
Now stick with us on this. We are trying to show you a new way of thinking. Just let my words, and these short lessons, seep in...

      As you will see, there are some program changes to be made in your mental adjustment software.


Read Part Two:  How To Shape Up  (Part 2 of 7 articles)

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