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Singles classes, seminars and good support groups can change your
life by acting as important supplements to your "homework" on
this site.
You can expect.. .......
....... to change in small ways
at first.
For example, you will be less upset by an unkind
remark that someone says; or maybe you will begin to see that it is not
selfish to live your life as you see fit; but it is selfish to insist that
others live as you like.
Your work will take on a fresh look, and your relations with
others will become smoother.
Going to classes, seminars and good support groups, supplementing
studying at this site daily picking up information and
inspiration.........
..........is like going to the grocery store.
You pick up milk, get eggs, and bread, you stop at the meat counter,
canned goods, and you get fresh fruits and vegetables, you pay for
it.............
........ and then you go off and leave the
groceries.
 A silly thing to do, you say, yet many come to
these places and this site and pick up all kinds of ideas and concepts
they can use, yet fail to take them home with them and use
them.
In singles classes, seminars and good support groups, and studying the
information daily at this site, you need not be concerned about
results; they arrive easily and naturally. It is like a tv program you
want to see.
You put it on the right
channel, let it run and when the right time comes you won't miss the
program; it will happen naturally.
A person often fails to achieve personal
liberation and growth because they are unaware or unsure that such a state
actually exists.
In other words, you don’t try to improve yourself in one quantum
leap because you are not sure that it is real, that it is something that
you can do.
It is like someone promised you a
wonderful castle to move into, that it was just ahead.
You won't move toward it unless you are pretty sure it is there, or
can at least see it, just a touch, through the dense fog.
When you are sure it really is there, no matter how dimly you see it at
first, you will move towards it faster and faster as you are more
sure it is really there for you to take.
Many single people most tormenting fear is that there is
no alternative road to the one they are on now, and that it is
painful to endure.
They can not see or
believe there is a castle in the fog.
We say there is an alternative road, but you must
have rebellion, courage, and be willing to abandon your safe secure
known roads and head down some unfamiliar roads on an
exciting adventure toward these new discoveries.
We must remember that it
exists within us, not without.
We already have everything within us that we need, but we must
update obsolete programming to "what works" for us now.
We have restrictive old programming (beliefs)
and we have been afraid to let go of this programming.
It may be because we are afraid of the unknown, we are afraid
new programming may be worse, so we refuse to change.
You feel-- I am familiar with my old programming so I won't
give it up; I might change just a little bit, but not too much.
When people become ruined financially due to a depression, etc.,
and really hit bottom, they will throw out all of their old
programming and go on to far greater riches than they had ever
before known possible.
Whereas the person who has three square meals lined up and no
really bad prospects refuses to change or "rock the boat," so to
speak.
The person who wants out of the marriage, for example, and
has something else lined up usually goes on and on, repeating the
failure of one relationship after another and keeps their old
programming.
The so-called
victim is much better off (being totally destroyed by the
divorce, though it seems like a tragedy at the time) and
winds up in much better shape later than the divorcer because they
are willing to up date their programming.
It is like a rickety building that wasn’t built very
soundly.
If it is totally destroyed, you can build a new, completely
different building on a strong foundation from the ground up.
The other person, if they change at all, merely makes a few
surface remodeling changes in the same old building, and the
basic poor unsound structure is still there and it falls apart
in every storm.
The closer you can
come to completely getting rid of all your old programming,
the better off you will be. What programming you put back
in place of it can then be examined and put in only if it is sound
and has a strong basis for your new life.
It is like a person going along carrying two heavy
rocks, weary all the time, and making little
headway.
Finally someone shows him the light and says, "Why do
you persist in carrying those heavy rocks? "
He says, "Gee,I have always carried
these heavey rocks, and I didn't know I was doing that to
myself, I thought I was supposed to carry these heavy
rocks."
Once he gives himself
permission and drops these pointless burdens, he is no longer
tired.
He has a new vigor and goes on to a great new life that
would not have happened if he had continued to carry the old
burdens.
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ALMOST EVERYBODY IS CARRYING A LOAD OF
THESE UNECESSARY ROCKS
The sooner we start getting rid of them, the sooner we
will walk lighter in this world.
So your new happy life as a single is not so much held up by needing
to add in anything; it is more a process of getting rid of old things.
It is like going down a path that is grown over with vines and weeds.
It is mostly now a process of clearing away this mess of
negativeness, fear, unrealistic ideas, expectations and assumptions so
that we can see the real clear path, probably for the first time.
We usually think in terms of adding, of building,
constructing, etc.
Our new freedom and happiness as a single lies basically in the other
direction: .........
......getting rid of things.
What you will be doing at single classes, seminars, good support
groups and your regular daily homework study at this site
is
GRADUALLY
Deleting the old and "Updating" your mental programming to
"what works" to build an all new
and better life.
Tell Your Divorced Or
Widowed Friends About This Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If
They Do Not Have A PC, Print Out The Article For Them
Update Your
Obsolete Programming
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300 "Life Changing" recovery
articles, click here
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Attending Singles Classes, Seminars and Support Groups -plus Homework On this Site