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Raising Happy Successful Children as a Single Parent

2001 Harlan Jacobsen

The airline stewardess is correct..... In an emergency and the oxygen masks come down, take care of yourself first and then take care of the children.

Just as in this emergency, your children's welfare depends on you, so you must be in shape to take care of the situation by taking care of yourself first. Sounds callous that the children don't come first, but the fact is their very welfare depends on your life getting on a sound footing.

This is a short piece on the subject, so lets use a simple program (computer comparison) change to illustrate.

Let us say for example: As a result of your becoming suddenly single (with kids) you have made these following decisions that have become part of your programming and are extolling it daily with your children and friends.

You have decided that the death of the relationship means your good life (with the kids) as you knew it, is over.

That your family is never going to have what other families have and everything is going to be a struggle with little or nothing good to look forward too. Only difficulty after difficulty and disappointment after disappointment lies ahead. It is going to be a lonely and bitter experience for the family.

With that as your basic new life program your children are picking this up every day as you unknowingly sell your new end of the good life program to them.

Are they going to react and act out as result of this? Probably, they are going to be making some decisions here that affect their lifetime programming, all as a result of what you are spreading to them... on a daily basis. Revolt may be a good word to use.

Now lets say we somehow turn your outlook and programming around to where you realize this is an opportunity with a new door opening. That you as a family sit down together and figure out where and what the target is for the good new life, set goals to get there. Believe me, make no small plans and make it good so all look forward to it with great enthusiasm.

For right now....you only need to decide where you want to be as a family with a lot of great things to look forward to you have not had before.

Details on how we are going to get there we will take up later. Sell yourself and sell the kids, (it will rub off)

It doesn't really matter that there are sacrifices now because this is only temporary and we know where we are going.

Perhaps this little glimpse of how important it is to get the single parent happily working toward a better life, all from decisions made now realizing that this is a major turning point in your family's life.

That doing this enthusiastically will mean great changes for the better for the children.

All simply as a mirror of the parent.


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