Many divorcing parents seem to believe that relief is spelled d-i-v-o-r-c-e, but that's not necessarily so.
A short time ago a young couple came before me. They'd been married five years. Each was 35 years old. The wife had been married once before, and she had a child from the first marriage, which means this couple's marriage from the start had a stress point-a stepchild.
Two years after they married, they had a child together--another stress point.
Shortly after their child was born, the wife went on part-time status at her regular job to begin a new business--two stress points.
Unfortunately, although they had reduced their regular income, they did not reduce their spending habits, and by the time they filed for divorce, they had accumulated $10,000 in consumer debt.
They had clearly adopted their generation's fantasy of wanting it all now.
The wife's business venture was not successful, which generated feelings of failure and blame, along with substantial business debts. On top of that, the stepchild was acting up, which generated more blame and guilt.
Their lives were a mess.
Researchers have listed what are considered to be big life stress factors. Each has a common thread, which is major change.
Big changes are required of people when they marry, have a child or change jobs.
Money problems cause enormous stress and they also worsen when a child is born or a job changes. Money problems almost always accompany the start of a new business.
This young couple was dealing with virtually every stress factor know to man, with the exception of death of a loved one.
They decided to try to lessen the stress by getting a divorce, which, of course, would have had quite the opposite effect. Divorce always makes problems much, much worse. In this case, divorce almost certainly would have made bankruptcy unavoidable.
This case had a a happy ending. The couple agreed to counseling.
They agreed to explore which of the two businesses had the greater potential and to devote their energies to that one.
Whether the outcome will be reconciliation is uncertain, but at least they will be able to say they tried.
For more Anne Kass articles, go here to select from complete list of 97 articles
For listing of over 200 helpful staff articles on Divorce, go here
Home
Tell Your Divorced Or Widowed Friends About This
Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If They Do Not Have A PC, Print
Out The Article For Them
Divorce Should Be A Couple's Last Resort - Not It's
First
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300
"Life Changing" recovery articles, click here
Divorce
Recovery 101 
Divorce Adjustment Help
Home
Divorce Recovery
Site Map
Divorce Questions
& Answers
Read and/or Submit
Personal Message?
CONTACT US
Online Support
Friends Singles
Chat
Free Divorce
Newsletter
Sign Up
Here
Free 5 Day Email Divorce Course
Sign Up Here
Read and Study over 300 "Life Changing" recovery
articles, click here
Reprint Our
Articles
Information Here
1000 Helpful Single Life Links
go
here
About Us
go
here
Please tell us how
we are doing.
Feel free to make suggestions
Do it
here
Search Articles
How
To Link To Us
Help Others Find This Site
Send This Page
to "Divorcing Friends",
easy
form
Read Letters From
Divorced Folks Like Yourself,
Read
Mail
Single Life Coach
is
our site for those worked thru their divorce and are working on a great
new life as a single person
Dating Again 101 is our new site for help in
getting back into the dating world successfully
Sign up for
Free Dating
Again newsletter of tips to help make new relationships a part
of your life. Edited by Harlan.
by keyword