Exiting A Dead Marriage
©
2001 Harlan Jacobsen
Every week it seems I get
almost the same problem for me to answer,.......typically they say
" my marriage is essentially over
but I don't know if I should leave etc...... complaining how bad it
is, ......their spouse has shacked up with some one else but still
tells them they still love them with all sorts of conflicting messages
etc.
This is getting to be almost a standard answer here I give, but
I think this is a common
problem..... In
my experience, I do not recall one person to my knowledge ever errored
in getting out to soon. Those I hear from should have gotten
out long ago before destroying what could and should be a good part
of their life.
Getting off and out of a long term
relationship...is a real problem for most people, because people
are "relationship addicts"
and often neither one have the courage
to leave cleanly
and end it
completely. They
just sort of painfully try to pull apart gradually....like trying
to quit smoking by smoking less and less cigarettes every day.
Agonizing, and does not work.
You have to quit completely and
totally and go thru a lot of pain and then it gets over with....
The words I use in these situations
that everyone seems to understand is that staying in a situation
like this is crazymaking.
You complain this is not working
and making your life miserable. You
are the jailer and you have
a key on the inside.
Only you can
let yourself out of this.
So if you stay there in your present
situation....you have no one to blame but yourself.
Decide,
is this working? Are the odds great this is never going to work?
Would an intelligent person stay in this type of miserable situation?
Are you an intelligent person?
Are you like the cigarette smoker
who can't stand having to go thru the
pain of quitting, even though
they know it is killing
them? Do you know that staying with
this is ruining your chances of a normal happy life?
Do you have
the courage and the good
sense to go thru the necessary pain connected with your getting
out?
You decide.
Related Information:
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to handle your legal divorce, Starve the Divorce Lawyers With Mediation
and Divorce Arbitration
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to Save Money On A Legal Divorce
Related Outside Very Helpful Links:
Attorneys Advice On Beating The System
Legal Divorce Research Information
Legal divorce
short course....
Cautions About Do It Yourself
Divorce legal clarification and information, Outside links:
Definition of Divorce
Terminology, (Divorce Dictionary)
Divorce Laws
by State, Outside link
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