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Exiting A Dead Marriage - Divorce Recovery 101 
Exiting A Dead Marriage


2001 Harlan Jacobsen

Every week it seems I get almost the same problem for me to answer,.......typically they say " my marriage is essentially over but I don't know if I should leave etc...... complaining how bad it is, ......their spouse has shacked up with some one else but still tells them they still love them with all sorts of conflicting messages etc.

This is getting to be almost a standard answer here I give, but I think
this is a common problem..... In my experience, I do not recall one person to my knowledge ever errored in getting out to soon.  Those I hear from should have gotten out long ago before destroying what could and should be a good part of their life.

Getting off and out of a long term relationship...is a real problem for most people, because people are "relationship addicts" and often neither one have the courage to leave cleanly and end it completely. They just sort of painfully try to pull apart gradually....like trying to quit smoking by smoking less and less cigarettes every day.

Agonizing, and does not work.

You have to quit completely and totally and go thru a lot of pain and then it gets over with....  

The words I use in these situations that everyone seems to understand is that staying in a situation like this is crazymaking.  

You complain this is not working and making your life miserable.  You are the jailer and you have a key on the inside.  

Only you can let yourself out of this.

So if you stay there in your present situation....you have no one to blame but yourself.

Decide, is this working? Are the odds great this is never going to work? Would an intelligent person stay in this type of miserable situation? Are you an intelligent person?

Are you like the cigarette smoker who can't stand having to go thru the pain of quitting, even though they know it is killing them? Do you know that staying with this is ruining your chances of a normal happy life?

Do you have the courage and the good sense to go thru the necessary pain connected with your getting out?

You decide.


Related Information:
The Real Source of Your Divorce Pain

Divorce Recovery Blunders

How to handle your legal divorce, Starve the Divorce Lawyers With Mediation and Divorce Arbitration

Divorce Hassles Seminar
Ten Ways to Save Money On A Legal Divorce

Related Outside Very Helpful Links:
Attorneys Advice On Beating The System

Legal Divorce Research Information

Legal divorce short course....

Cautions About Do It Yourself

Divorce legal clarification and information, Outside links:
Definition of Divorce Terminology, (Divorce Dictionary)

Divorce Laws by State, Outside link


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