Control or "Concern"

Harlan Jacobsen Copyright 2003


Everyone has areas or parts of their life under their control. .........
.............. They also have an area of concern.

    Those that succeed understand the difference between the two, circle or area under their control and.......
    ........ what is classified as an area of concern.

Things, which you have direct control over, are things in your life over which you can affect by your decisions and actions in this direct control.

For example, you have direct personal control over the following:

  • - Your attitude about being single.
  • - How you respond to situations that occur in single life.
  • - Whether or not you will plan out your day, and your future.
  • - Whether you will go out to develop new friends.
  • - What time you will get up in the morning
  • - What time you will go to sleep at night.
  • - How much effort you will put into your job or career today.
  • - Whether you return calls or answer e-mails in a timely manner
  • - What you will eat or will not eat today
  • - Whether or not you will take the time to exercise today.  

These will give you some idea of which is which.


Here are some things over which you are concerned about, but do not have direct control over.

    For example, you may be concerned about the weather, but no matter how hard you try what you do or what you say will not influence the weather.

You may be concerned about the SARS outbreak, but no matter what you say or what you do, will not have any influence on when or where the next outbreak will occur.

    It is true that people concentrate or worry about things that they have absolutely no control or influence over.

    Why do they do this?

    In affect wasting their entire day worrying or concentrating about something that they have no influence over will actually help make any difference..

        For you to succeed,...........
        .......... you need to concentrate..........
        ........... all of your efforts
        on things that you have......... control over.

    So make a list of things within your control and a list of those things that are merely within your area of concern.

      Things you have of concern must meet the following criteria:

      No matter what you say or what you do, they will not have any influence over that item.

    When you make a list of things that are in your direct control and able to see those on that list and realize on the "concerns" list, that there are certainly many things that you no longer have any influence over.

      By putting your former spouse and marriage on your area of concern list, you will finally accept the fact that no matter what you say or what you do or say would not change what had happened or will happen.

        So even though you are concerned about your former spouse,, you eventually accept the fact that the former spouse was no longer within any area of control whatsover.

      Move your efforts to what you control...........
      ..........Instead of concentrating on the things in this area of concern and feeling sorry for yourself,

        You switch and concentrate on the things still in your area of control,
      such as:

      • - taking care of your children
      • - being the best parent you can be
      • - spending quality time with them
      • - taking care of your physical body
      • - taking time to make big plans
      • - keeping a positive attitude towards building a new life
      • - planning/investing for children's college tuition
      • - becoming a top qualified person in your job.
      • - building and growing your job or business.
      • - developing a network of new single friends.

            By concentrating on your area of control, your area of control continues to grow in both your personal life and business life.

                You can and will develop a wonderful new relationship and a great new life.

            Your new life will just keep getting better and better.

            The person that concentrates 100% on what they can control will succeed in developing a bigger and better life, while the person that concentrates and will not let go of what is merely a list of "concerns" will be left wondering why they did not succeed.

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            Control or "Concern"
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