Thriving As A Single Person, The Big Secret

Harlan Jacobsen Copyright 2003

LEARNING: You spent 12 to 20 years in school, college and training to learn to make a living and survive economically.

PRACTICE: You have spent years in practice and every year you have gotten better and more competent at what you do for a living.

It has taken many, many years of education, practice, honing of skills, doing your job and managing your affairs to get your economic life to work and where you are competent and comfortable at it.


LEARNING: You had no courses on how to make life work as a single person, no school, most of your friends were married, and those that were single were not doing that well. Man's chief advantage over animals is that man learns from others who have gone before. Animals make the same mistakes generation after generation. Here no one who had figured it out was telling or sharing how to do it. So you continue dead end methods trying to make things better. Just like the others. But there were some who made big changes and figured out what works to thrive as a single. We interviewed thousands in our classes and we found out what works. Not theories. We used these things that seemed to work for the successful, put it out in our classes and watched what worked for them.

We share with you in our newspaper and here online what works. How many singles got on with a great new life in a short time.  Others that did not wise up were often still mired and miserable years later.  

PRACTICE:  You may have had years of practice in married life and here you are suddenly single; thrown into a new world where you do not even know the language. It is stressful in unknown territory and many withdraw and hide out at home for years. Others dive in where knowing angels would fear to tread, get burned and then withdraw. It is a roller coaster for many.

If you learn what works in single life, then you are not flying blind.  You can go out and practice being single. You can avoid getting mired in all the tar pits because you will know where they are.  

So the BIG SECRET IS: You do not inherit a knowledge of making single life work. Unlike birds who inherit knowledge of nest building, YOU HAVE TO LEARN IT. Sure you can eventually figure it out on your own but most get hung up in quagmires and dead ends. Life is too short for wasting all this time being miserable. Find out where the interstate is and avoid the detours.

You can read 5 great books on playing the piano. You will not be able to play the piano any better than the day you started. To learn to play the piano, you HAVE TO PLAY THE PIANO. To learn to live a happy and successful single life, YOU WILL HAVE TO PRACTICE BEING SINGLE. The first time you went out for little league, you did not expect to hit a home run. You had to LEARN the RULES AND PRACTICE. Being single is no different.

*New articles and additional parts of serial series are posted on the web and appear in our Singles Monthly Newspapers.

Related Information:How your divorced life can get better everyday

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